Immortal Spicer
by 2SexyForMySkirt
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Jack Spicer is not an idiot, a worm or even incompetent. He couldn't give a flying rat's ass about being Heylin or Xiaolin and the balance of the world. Jack's an immortal. Why should he care? Rating for Language and Gore, maybe future sex. Parings undecided.
1. Prologue: Plans are Forming

**Immortal Spicer**

 **Prologue:**

 **Plans are Forming**

* * *

You know the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover"? Of course you do; everyone does. Well this little anecdote actually happens to fit a certain "Evil Boy Genius" fairly well.

Jack Spicer is an excellent actor and has an infinite amount of patience. He is also _not_ an idiot, worm or even incompetent. He couldn't give a flying _fuck_ about being Heylin or Xiaolin and the balance of the world.

Even more surprising, Jack is an _immortal_.

It's a different kind of immortality from the likes of Wuya, Chase Young and the others, one with far less consequences and far more benefits. For one, he didn't turn into a disembodied spirit whenever he "died" or turned into a giant lizard and was most certainly not a bean.

This fact only made Jack slightly smug. He found the arrogance of the other Heylin immortals very amusing. For being a solid 1,100 years older than Jack, they all seemed very immature.

Jack mostly assumes they act the way they do because their immortality isn't a guaranteed thing, like his. He's pretty sure that the others could be killed if someone had the dedication to try hard enough. As far as Jack could tell he was the real deal, unless someone wanted to Devour him. Hell, Jack could get his head cut off and it would just reattach itself! He knows; he learned it the hard way.

Jack sat in the formal living room of his estate, staring intently at the fire, admiring the flickering tongues of light. He was reminiscing on a rather pleasant memory when one of his Jack-bots entered the room carrying a glass and a bottle of red wine. Glancing at the machine, Jack accepted the offer and poured himself a drink. He could indulge in one of his favorite past-times now that that screeching harpy, Wuya, decided to live with Chase instead. Swirling the beautiful crimson liquid, Jack sipped the sweet beverage and considered the predicament he's found himself in.

He was bored. So very, _very_ bored. Bored of the Showdowns, the childish Monks and odd villains. Which is so disappointing since this whole thing started off as so much fun.

He _loved_ the playing he did, acting idiotic and doing things wrong; making them all believe that he is truly incompetent at everything but robotics. Jack loved the chaos he wrecked on these people, messing with the balance of their precious world. However, the typical joy he took out of manipulating all of the players and fooling them into thinking he was useless was fading. Now he just wanted to disappear again and find something else to do with his infinite amount of time.

There was one problem though; the evil immortals knew his name and could find him anytime they pleased with a simple incantation. And it wouldn't be long before they noticed that he hasn't aged a day since he opened that stupid box and started this mess.

 _The only option I have,_ Jack realized with a start, _is to reveal myself to them._

A devious grin stretched across Jack's pale face. Plans formed in front of his eyes and the thought of those shocked expressions from those Heylin and Xiaolin idiots brings him a joy that he hasn't felt in quite a while.

 _It has to be perfect though, for maximum impact… I have to wait for the perfect moment. Lay some groundwork first, drop a few hints. Oh, this is going to be great! But first…_

"JB-13, call Maiza and tell him I'm going to visit him and his friends for a while." Maiza is the unofficial head of the immortals, if Jack is going to reveal himself to forces like this he needs to make sure that he doesn't put everyone else in danger, especially the person who knows the formula for the Grand Panacea. Beings like these would stop at nothing to discover a "one and done" path to immortality, even with side effects. A heads up is only polite.

"Yes Master Spicer. Are you taking any Jack-bots with you?" JB-13 whirred in his robotic voice.

"No, just you. And prepare the plane. We leave tomorrow morning."

"What about Shen Gong Wu, Master Spicer?"

"The Wu? Forget 'em. Let the losers and the morons fight over their toys," Jack grumbled as he rose from his seat, wine still in hand. He downed the rest in his glass and started up the stairs towards his bedroom. "I have more interesting things to deal with."

"Yes, Master Spicer."

Oh, this is going to be tons of fun!

* * *

AN: Hello everyone! This is a little plot bunny that's been running around my head for a while and I wanted to get it out there. I don't really have a plan for this and I'm mostly flying by the seat of my pants with this thing. Updates will be sparse and based on my school workload and how mean my writers-block decides to be.

Please tell me what you think!

... If anyone reads this that is.


	2. Chapter 1: Old Friends

**Immortal Spicer**

 **Chapter One:**

 **Old Friends**

* * *

If someone told Maiza Avaro yesterday that he was going to get a phone call from the one and only Jack Spicer, he would have told them that they were crazy. _That's impossible_ , he would have told them, _Jack Spicer never wants to be anywhere near other immortals_. Maiza hadn't even thought about little Jackie in well over 50 years. And he hadn't seen hide nor hair of him in 97.

Imagine his surprise when, out of the blue, a mechanical voice called on behalf of the albino this very morning, saying that he will be coming to visit him in New York and needs a place to stay.

And that is how Maiza got here, waiting on an airstrip while constantly trying to stop his fedora from flying away in the wind.

"So, Maiza, what's yer friend like anyway?" Firo Prochainezo was there when he got the message and insisted on coming along to meet the anonymous immortal. He was presently trying to do the same thing as Maiza, keeping his green fedora from blowing away. However, he also had the fun job of trying to dodge the long flapping coat Maiza wore from hitting him in the face.

Maiza paused to think of the right words to describe Jack Spicer to his friend, adjusting his glasses as he did so. "Jack's very quiet, from what I remember of him. A little dramatic though, when you get 'im talkin'. He didn't have the best of circumstances growin' up. But, he's a bright kid. He was actually a stow-away on the _Advenna Avis_ way back then… it's been a long time since I've seen him."

"Oh wow! He's one of you oldies! From the original ship and everythin'!" Firo enthused, nocking Maiza's coat from his face again. "How come you 'aven't seen 'im in so long?"

"Jack's always been a solitary creature. People usually don't treat him the best 'cause of his appearance. Back then, people thought he was a vampire when they first saw him. That made 'im, let's say, uninterested in people and their company." Maiza smiled to himself, remembering the nearly violent aversion Jack used to have to Elmer and his typical antics. He almost couldn't wait to see the kid's reaction the Isaac and Miria.

Firo squinted his eyes at an approaching plane, trying to will it to be this mysterious Jack's plane so they could get out of the wind. "How come people think he's a vampire?"

"You'll see in a bit. It's not my place to talk about it."

The younger looking man glanced at his old friend curiously, now wanting this Jack person to get there even faster.

The two immortal men stood in silence for a while, waiting for the right plane to land.

"So, Maiza… What kind 'o plane are we even lookin' fer?" Firo asked skeptically.

"All the voice said was that we would know it when we see it," the taller man replied, holding onto his hat tighter as a particularly strong gust of wind whipped around them from an approaching jet. Unfortunately for Firo, Maiza's brown coat smacked him in the face unexpectedly and his hat went flying through the air and down the runway.

"Gahh! My hat!" He shouted as he took off running and jumping to catch his rogue fedora.

Maiza chuckled at his friend's antics for a moment before turning back to the horizon as a new jet approached. This one was sleek and smaller than the typical commercial liners coming and going. Its approach was steady and quiet, handled with an expert touch and it was clear that this particular plane was very, _very_ expensive.

The burnish gold painted plane landed on the runway and glided to a smooth stop, waiting to be taken to a hangar. It turned as directed, towards the hangar he and Firo were waiting near. This was Jack's plane.

* * *

Jack eased his way to a slow stop inside the hangar he's rented for his visit. He paused and let the nerves he's been holding back wash over him in full force. He hasn't seen any of the other immortals in so long, mostly out of fear of being Devoured.

And now here he was, willingly allowing himself in their presence. But it had to be done.

He bet Maiza wouldn't even recognize him now. Last time he saw him, Jack had white hair, glasses and not a whole lot of black on him. Of course he decided to tone down his "usual" look to something more palatable for normal humans. Looking like a crazed super villain wouldn't blow over too well. He assumed that a simple black turtleneck, dark wash jeans, leather trench coat and boots wouldn't attract a lot of attention, he hoped. He didn't even spike up his hair! But the goggles and eyeliner stayed… he actually liked them.

JB-13 whirred into the cockpit carrying Jack's suit-case. "Master Spicer, your acquaintance, Maiza Avaro, and one other are waiting for you outside in the hangar."

"Thanks," Jack said thickly, swallowing in a vain attempt to calm the nerves bubbling in his stomach. "JB-13, transform into camouflage mode 32-B and go inactive until further notice."

"Yes, Master Spicer." The bot handed over Jack's heavy luggage bag as he got shakily to his feet, pushing his goggles up off his face and into his hair. The black and gold bot seemed to fold into itself, taking on a rectangular shape and sprouting a handle, turning into a briefcase.

Taking the newly transformed Jack-bot into his hand, Jack pressed a few buttons on the console to open up the exit hatch and then made his way out the cockpit and to the door. Seeing the hatch open sent a new wave of unease crashing against Jack's body; his stomach hollowed and grew cold, sweat started accumulating on his brow, palms and the backs of his knees, and his hands started to shake.

 _Relax Jack. This is Maiza. Maiza wouldn't do anything to you._ He gripped his suitcase and JB-13 a little harder, trying to calm his nerves more. Taking a deep breath, Jack made his way to the opened hatch.

The steps down had already lowered to the outside world and there at the end was a tall, kind-looking blond man in spectacles and a fedora.

Jack couldn't help himself. "A Fedora? Really? Got stuck in the 30's didn't 'cha Maiza?"

"Let's just say that this hat has sentimental value," he said, smiling kindly. He hadn't changed at all.

"Oof, and you dropped the accent to pick up a worse one," Jack quipped while stepping down the stairs with his heavy bag.

Jack quickly glanced at young looking man standing next to his old friend. He was short with shaggy brown hair, covered by a green fedora, and brown eyes. He was dressed normally enough with a white tank-top, brown pants and green over coat, though he looked a little wind-blown. He reminded Jack a little of Raimundo Pederosa of the Xaiolin losers only a little more… earnest. He was looking intently at Jack, almost like he was studying him in disbelief. _Yeah, that's gonna help the nerves…_

He seemed to notice Jack looking at him and smiled and trotted over to Jack with his hand out stretched. "Hey there! You mus' be Jack! I'm Firo! Firo Prochainezo! I'm an old friend 'o Maiza over there!"

 _Old friend…_ Jack thought. He narrowed his eyes and quickly glanced at Maiza to see if his assumption was right. From the slight nod of his head, Jack knew that he has assumed correct. There were more immortals.

Jack smiled slightly and took Firo's hand after he put down his luggage bag, not at all surprised by the firm grip. "Yeah, that's me. What? Maiza talk about me 'lot?"

"Nah, not really! This is first time I've ever 'eard of ya! But it's always great ta meet one of Maiza's old friends! 'ere that looks heavy. Let me take it!" He took Jack's heavy suitcase easily and backed off a little, as if sensing Jack's unease.

Maiza walked over to Jack, towering over him like he always did. His kind smile never faltering, he reached out a hand towards Jack. The artificial red head began to panic slightly at the gesture until all Maiza did was ruffle his hair affectionately.

"I like the hair, kid. It suits you. Not so sure about the makeup though," he said with a bit teasing. The relief that washed through Jack was the most beautiful sensation he's felt in his 325 years of life.

Jack grinned despite himself, showing off his strait, white teeth. "Hey, I actually like this look! It's totally me!" He threw his briefcase over his shoulder and began walking towards the exit of the hangar. "C'mon, Maiza! I'm tired, let's get going."

For his part Maiza just laughed indulgently and followed the pale man, Firo not far behind.

* * *

AN: Wow, I was not expecting to update this so quickly. I really hope that I got Firo's accent right.

Oh, I didn't do this in the Introduction, but I figured I would do this now:

 **I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!** There. This has been disclaimed.

Please tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 2: Catching Up

**Immortal Spicer**

 **Chapter Two:**

 **Catching Up**

The car ride to where ever they were going was, so far, blissfully quiet and devoid of small talk. Thank whatever entity or godly powers that are out there that Maiza remembered that Jack was _extraordinarily_ socially awkward and was content just driving the car through the sluggish traffic.

Firo, for his part, looked bored, but was entertaining himself by humming whatever tune was on the radio and typing away on his slightly out-of-date cell phone, even though it seemed like he really wanted to talk to the moody looking "boy" in the back seat. He kept glancing in the gothic "teen's" direction, smiling whenever their gazes met. It was only a tad unnerving for Jack.

Jack, for the most part, was spending his time gazing out the window at the city. The last time he was in New York was for a Wu. Which one, he couldn't tell you now; they all start to blur together after a while. However, he didn't really stick around to appreciate how much everything had changed. It was really hard to keep the gawking expression off his face during that particular Showdown.

The last time Jack was _actually_ in New York was in the 20's, when he was selling his perfected boot-leg liquor formula to one of the local Italian mobs for a _large_ sum of money. Maiza was there then to, to be his mediator for the deal. After that, he got out of dodge quick when he saw the economy was about to take a nose dive and went to Japan. That was a bad idea.

Needless to say, he moved to China as soon as he recovered enough after the war and had his "home" there ever since. Of course he traveled extensively from then on. I mean, why not? He's immortal; plenty of time to explore. He basically _lived_ in San Francisco in the 70's and 80's… not that he remembered much of it.

They drove past an old building that Jack vaguely recognized as being a hat shop way back when. He recalled Maiza saying that if Jack wanted, he could have joined whatever mob he was working for at the time and get his induction hat at that very store. _Maybe he got his hat at that store…_

I guess it's a testament to how much progress he's made socially from his extended interactions with the losers and morons, but a question pops into Jack's head and he has the where-with-all to actually ask it.

"Hey Maiza, you still work with that mob? Or are they all gone?"

Maiza, for his part, looked slightly surprised that Jack spoke, let alone asked him a question, but answered him all the same. "I'm still part of the Camarillo. In fact, most of the Camarillo are immortal now anyway, so they aren't goin' anywhere for a while. Firo here is in the family as well."

Jack glanced concernedly at Firo again, who was grinning back at him. "How did they get the formula?"

"Szilard Quates." Maiza said gravely. Jack cringed thinking of the creepy old man. He's the one that tried to devour everyone on the boat and learn the formula for the Grand Panacea at the very start. If he's managed to recreate the formula successfully that would be really bad news for everyone. He's the reason why Jack's afraid of the other immortals; now more than ever.

"Aww, don' look so worried, Jack! 'e's _long_ gone! I devoured 'im when 'e tried to kill Maiza and Ennis!" Firo enthused, leaning over the front seat to grin at Jack, assumedly trying to make him feel better.

It didn't work. In fact, it made Jack feel worse. _A lot worse._

 _He devoured Szilard! He was fucking scary! How? What chance do I have if he wants to devour me?_ Jack was panicking again, but he thought he was hiding it pretty well, as he tried to grin back at the smiling brunette.

But apparently Jack _still_ can't hide from Maiza. "Relax, Jackie. Firo ain't gonna devour you. He hates doing that."

Firo looked horrified. "Oh, holy! No, no, no! I would _never_ do that ta ya, Jack! I mean, I jus met you and I barely know you! And I would _never_ devour someone without knowin' 'em!" Jack found his floundering really amusing; it reminded him of how he reacted when he was pretending to be afraid of Chase killing him.

"Hey, hey, it's fine! I'm just super paranoid about that, ya know. I don't particularly want to die any time soon." _That and I have enough knowledge and skill to build at least fourteen different weapons of mass destruction from basic household appliances._ That kind of information in the hands of anyone completely insane is never a good idea.

Firo still looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "Seriously, though Jack, I would never devour ya! Scout's honor!" He leaned even further over the seat, his brown eyes wide and pleading. It was almost cute in a weird way.

Jack pressed backwards away from Firo to maintain some more of his personal space and smiled at the other immortal. "Like I said; it's fine! I believe you!"

Maiza smiled slightly in the driver's seat and patted his friend on the shoulder. "Firo, give him some room."

"Ahh, gees, I'm sorry, Jack. I really didn't mean ta freak ya out!" Jack decided that he liked Firo in a weird way. He was delightfully honest and earnest. That was very refreshing for Jack, who was jaded as hell at this point. I suppose actually living alone in the real world for over 300 years would do that to someone.

"Firo, he knows what you're trying to say. Relax." Maiza is a god-sent.

The car lapsed into a somewhat awkward silence then, putting Jack on edge slightly. Firo looked a little put-out from the conversation. Now when he glanced at Jack it was apologetically, which the red-head decided was way worse than curiously.

They stopped at a red light and Jack actively felt a part of his soul leave his body. _Why is this drive taking so long? Goddamn fucking traffic!_

Maiza looked at him in the rearview again and decided to rescue the atmosphere. "So, Jack… What have you been up to these past years?"

Firo looked at him curiously, trying to smile encouragingly. He still had a gleam of penitence in his eyes, but Jack decided to ignore it.

Jack had to take a minute to think of what to say. He couldn't give Maiza all the details right now, not with Firo right there. Short summary then.

"Well, I traveled for a while. Started a few businesses, made some money, went to school. I moved to China a while ago and I'm living there now. I was in San Francisco in the 70's and 80's, though."

Firo laughed at that, "I bet that was a ton o' fun!"

"You bet it was!" Jack grinned back, showing off his white teeth.

"Lemme guess, you jus' wish you could remember more o' it, huh?"

Maiza chuckled slightly at that. "I think we all wish we could do that." He looked over at Firo with an indulging smile that spoke of shared history and a damn funny story.

"Seriously though! You still won' tell me what I did tha' one week! And that's unfair! Ain't that rude, Jack?"

Jack couldn't help but laugh at that, prompting another warm smile from Maiza, which made Jack feel very oddly happy. Didn't stop him from snarking him though. "That _is_ rude, Maiza. I thought you had better manners than that."

"I do. That's why I ain't tellin' him."

"Ah, C'mon Maiza! Whateva 'appened couln't 've been that bad!"

The bespectacled man just shook his head chuckling softly, much to Firo's indignation. The red-head lapsed into laughter again at the misery on Firo's face.

After the laughter subsided, Maiza glanced back at Jack again with a warm glint to his gaze. "So, you said something about school?"

Jack smirked devilishly, "Yeah, I did. I got few degrees for my trouble."

"Uhhun… How many is a few?" Sharp as ever.

"About 36 in the last ten years. Online colleges are one of the single greatest inventions of this century." Not to mention they actually started teaching something worthwhile. Biology, chemistry, robotics, engineering. That stuff is right up his alley.

It was always difficult for Jack throughout the centuries because he never felt intellectually stimulated or challenged at anything before. With the advent of modern technology and robotics he finally found something to keep him occupied and away from his darker thoughts and urges.

"Thirty-six!" Firo exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Uhhun, and 'ow many of thos are PHDs?"

The genius' smirk widened to a full on grin. "All of them."

"What! Maiza! You din't tell me 'e was a genius!" Firo was now looking at him with wide, amazed eyes from over the back of the front seat.

"Jack was always very smart, too smart for any of us to deal with most of the time. Us alchemists were all way far behind Jack 'ere when it came to actual science. He was always babbling about particles and properties and chemical reactions. Everyone assumed he was just off his rocker."

"Well look who turned out to be right!" Jack enthused from the back seat, pumping a fist in the air.

The car lurched into movement again, nocking Jack slightly off balance and he bumped his shoulder into the glass window of the car. He hissed and rubbed his shoulder, trying to get rid of the stinging. _Stupid albino skin… You're lucky I have super healing._

Maiza chuckled lightly at Jacks antics. "Yes, you most certainly showed 'em."

The car lapsed into silence again for another minute or two until they turned a corner and pulled into a parking ramp. Maize eased the car to a stop next to what appeared to be a vintage 30's Ford, with worn, faded black paint and quite the dent in to hood. Knowing the man, Jack figured it was probably Maiza's first car and he just didn't want to get rid of it.

Jack opened his door and climbed out of the short car, stretching his back. He reached back in to grab the disguised JB-13. Firo was already out opening the trunk to pull out Jack's hefty suitcase.

"You know, Maiza, I could probably fix that car for you." Jack said off handedly. He didn't expect Firo to answer him, however.

"Enis would really 'preciate that, don' ya think so, Maiza?"

Maiza smiled again. "Yes she would. That would be very nice of you, Jackie."

"Don't call me Jackie! I'm not a girl!" Jack pouted for a minute or two. "But, fine. I can fix Enis' car, whoever the hell she is."

"Oh, she's my girl! She's a doll. I'm sure you'll meet her while ya 'ere." Firo responded, handing Jack his suitcase. "Tha' suitcase is pretty 'eavy. What'd'ya got in there? Bricks?"

Jack laughed a little awkwardly. _Oh, just a little something to do in my spare time. Your typical weapon of mass destruction._

"I always seem to take everything but the kitchen sink when I travel…"

Everyone lapsed into silence again. Trying to figure out what they were going to do now. It is in this moment that Jack officially decided to start a petition to get Maiza canonized as a saint. _He can be the patron saint of the socially awkward, heaven knows we really need one…_

"Firo, you can go meet up with everyone. I'm gonna show jack to 'is room and make sure 'es comfortable."

"Sure thing! I'll go make sure Isaac and Miria don' attack ya while you're talkin'." Firo waved as he started walking towards a staircase off to the left of the lot. Maiza began walking in the opposite direction, signaling for Jack to follow him.

* * *

"Here's your room, Jack. It's not much, but it's clean." Maiza said, looking at the nervous looking redhead. _That's still jarring…_

He wasn't lying earlier when he said that the red was a good look for him. It really was. But it will definitely turn the other immortal's heads when they see it.

Jack was always… different from the others. He was always more forward thinking and adaptable to the times. Many of his contemporaries, Maiza included sometimes, try to just hold onto the past and never change, making them rather cranky and stuffy (in Maiza's humble opinion).

Jack, however, thrived in the modern era. Maiza could see the change in Jack from when he last saw him. He seemed more battle ready and confident.

Still socially awkward though.

"Yeah… thanks… umm…" He clearly didn't know where to start. Jack was looking around the simple room, searching for something to say. He walked closer to the dresser and put his suitcase down next to it and his odd briefcase on top of it. He turned back to Maiza, who was smiling at, encouraging him to talk to him.

"Sit down and talk with me a minute, Jackie. I wanna hear why you're really visiting me after 90 years." Maiza lowered himself down into one of the arm chairs in the room and crossed his legs casually, still smiling warmly.

"Don't call me Jackie! For _fucks_ sake Maiza? How many times do I have to tell you that?" Jack barked angrily, flopping roughly into the other chair. He glared at Maiza for a bit before looking somewhere else, clearly trying to figure out what he was going to say. Maiza waited patiently, smile never faltering.

"Did you know that there is more than one way to become immortal?" Maiza frowned at this question and leaned forward more in his chair.

Jack continued and explained everything.

* * *

 **AN: Hello everyone! Thanks for all the reviews and follows! I am so sorry it took me so long to update! I've been super busy and had mild writers block for a bit. I hope you enjoy this installment! I'll be getting into more juicy stuff later and I will try to keep my motivation for this story.  
**

 **Thanks a bunch!**


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